Bang Bang Goes the Head on the Wall

So does anyone else feel as though they are constantly banging their head against a wall?  For the last couple of years that has what my life has felt like.  One thing after another never being able to move forward.  It's aggravating and makes me feel as though I just can't make it no matter how hard I try.  To really explain this we will have to take a trip back to my teenage years, so come along for a whirlwind overview of my crazy circumstances and where they have gotten me.

bang head against wall

I lost my mom when I was 8 and never really learned to deal with the loss.  Looking back, I really needed counseling as a child to learn to cope with her death and the depression/anxiety I also had.  As I got older, around 15, and met more people I was introduced to Marijuana.  I learned that when I was high I didn't feel as bad so it became my medicine.  Fast forward to 18, I was in a horribly abusive relationship, both mentally and physically.  I was using harder drugs to cope, and those were only making things worse.  Because of the cost of the drugs and the habit both my boyfriend and I had we were doing anything we could to not crash.  I ended up doing some very stupid things, forging my Grandfather's name on his check, and getting arrested.  At 19 I became a felon.  At the time I wasn't thinking about how that would affect my life to come. 

I'm not a bad person.  I have been clean for 10 years, went to college/grad school, and have my life together.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Some of us just make worse ones than others.  Sadly those mistakes will follow me to the day I die it seems.  Even though I was 18 at the time of my offense, jobs don't care.  Employers see a felony record and see a hardcore criminal sitting in front of them waiting to pull a gun.  After completing 5 years in college I am not even able to get a job at Starbucks because of my record.  I feel like a failure.

This is one of the hardest things I have ever made myself write, but I know that in my heart it will help me heal.  I still beat myself up every day for the way I caused my life to turn out.  I have tried to push past the circumstances yet every move I make there is a roadblock.  I know that eventually I will find the perfect job for me and they will look past the record that follows me and see my potential.  Until then I will keep my head up and keep filling out applications!    

Round is Definitely A Shape

For the last couple of weeks I have been wanting to get up and start using the gym that is available to the residents where I live.  Due to some minor depression and anxiety issues I just haven't had the motivation.  A week ago after talking to my amazing Dr. I got my meds changed and I have been able to get up before lunch the last couple of days.   

So this morning I was up and going put on my running shorts, tied on my Nikes and headed to the gym.  For a total of 30 mins...  I haven't really realized how out of shape I have gotten till now.  I used to be able to run a mile and a half and then do weight training afterwards.  I was surprised that after 20 mins on the eliptical I was ready to die.  I was heartbroken.  How could I have let myself get this bad?  I knew that I hadn't been exercising, but how bad could it be.  Well I was shown how bad it could be by how quickly it took me to wear completely out.

So after my measly 30 mins. total at the gym I hobbled home in shame up the three flights of stairs (which didn't help anything) a sweaty mess.  It wasn't till I got in and started thinking that I realized I went.  If nothing else I got off my tush and went and did something.  It may not have been much, I may not be running a marathon (or even a mile) tomorrow, but I did something.  This is so much better than I have done in at least a year and a half.

So I have vowed to not be so hard on myself.  As long as I get up and keep going I know I will get better and more fit, and that's all that matters at this very moment! 

Lovelies you are all awesome and you can do anything you put your mind to!

SlimQuick Pro Review

So I was sent this product to review and needless to say I was very skeptical.  I mean a miracle drink that magically helps you loose weight?  I have tried many other weight loss drinks and this is by far the best tasting one I have tried.  I was sent the french vanilla flavor, and it was so good.  The product is very low in calories, but has a lot of nutrition packed into every scoop/serving.  I was very pleasantly surprised by this.  I used this product once a day for a week and so far I have neither gained or lost.  I think this has a lot to do with the short amount of time I have used the product.  I do really enjoy the energy boost it gives me, but I did learn that using this too soon to bedtime made my mind race a bit.   I really like the fact that this drink supplement contained 20 grams of protein and 6 grams of fiber in every serving.

I haven't really decided if the product is for me yet, but I will say I am considering trying it as a once a day meal replacement after I use the one that was sent to me.

To order and try it for yourself you can visit their website. 

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June Pop Sugar

So it's that time again.  I can't believe it is time again for PopSugar review.  I think the time has slipped up on me because things have been soooo busy around here.  Anyways I know you don't want to read on and on about day to day life, you're here to see what's in June's box!


Cost: 39.95 a month

COUPON: Use coupon code MUSTHAVE5 to save $5 off your first box.

1.Spongelle Boxed Flowers Body Wash Infused Buffer in Papaya Yuzu (Value $16)

So this a sponge/buffer that has body wash built in and lasts for multiple uses. You place it under water and squeeze the sponge to absorb the water. (Then squeeze out excess water after use). The scent is amazing, and I liked the application too!

2.Yogitoes Peacock Headband (Value $4)

I love the style and color of this headband.  It will be perfect for do my face routine at night and playing around in the summer heat!

3.Quay Australia Mandate sunglasses – Value $45

Ok so I am a glasses wearer so these are not a great fit for me since all I see is a blur when looking through them, but they are a great pair of sunnies.  The fit and color is amazing and I love the fact that they are a matte black instead of the usual glossy finish.  I actually like them enough I am thinking about having my prescription lenses put in the frames!

4.Pacifica Eyeshadow Palette (Value $14)

The packaging of this palette is to die for.  That's about all I can say for this eye palette for now. The pigmentation when I swatched it wouldn't even pick up on camera so I had to borrow this picture of the pallet swatched by someone else.  Hopefully with a primer and some good light it will do better because I love the colors.

Here are the colors with descriptions (from left to right):

Skinnydip – Matte nude base cover or lash liner. A universal highlighter.

Coral Sand – Satin coral for lid base or for highlighting.

Golden – Perfect Gold with just the right amount of shimmer. Use on lids and or for highlighting.

Urchin – Iridescent jeweled purple with gold tones. Perfect for lining and crease.

5.Snap Infusion Super Candy (Value $4)

I really don't know what to think of these yet.  To be honest I haven't talked myself into trying them!

6.In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume (Retail Value $28 – On Amazon for $16.77)

I’ve never seen this book but I loved Judy Blume as a kid and I am always excited to see how authors do when switching genres.  So I really love that they included it in the box.

7.Sweet & Spark $30 Promo Card

This wasn't for me!  I'm not a fan of gift cards in boxes unless it can cover a full item and I wasn't able to find on through this company under the $30.  Sweet and Spark is a vintage jewelry site. 

My Opinion:

This box has a retail value of $100. (This does not include the Sweet & Spark discount code). This hasn’t been one of my favorite boxes, but I don't hate it either.  

So lovelies what do y'all think about the box?